Leprechauns in Ireland
A group of leprechauns were in Ireland (surprise surprise) and had gotten into an intense debate among themselves. After much arguing, one of them waved his fist in the air, and declared "I'll prove it to ye!"
So off the group went, until they came up to a nunnery.
The small group followed the leader up to the door, where he knocked and asked the gatekeeper if he could speak with the Mother Superior.
They were let in, and escorted to the room outside her office to wait for her. When she opened the door, she motioned the group in. "What brings you to St. Agatha's?", she asked politely.
"Well, muther, I had a few wee questions for ya", the leader replied, his hat in his hand.
"Go on." she responded.
"Well, I was wonderin'... do ye have any miniature nuns in this convent?" he asked, fingers twiddling on the brim of the hat.
"No, we don't have any 'miniature' nuns in this convent", she replied, a bit puzzled.
"What about in the county?" he asked, a bit more urgency in his voice.
"No, no I don't recall any in the county."
"Well, what about in Ireland? Surely there is a midget nun in Ireland?!" he urged her.
"Indeed, I am certain there is not, not in all of Ireland."
In desperation, the leprechaun blurted out, "What about the whole world, Mother? The whole entire world?"
"I don't believe we have any midget nuns in all the world, no." she stated, watching him become more and more agitated.
The leprechaun seemed to slump, and thanked the woman, before leading his pack back out into the road.
A few steps further down one of his companions slapped him on the back and declared in a carrying voice, "See? I told ya, ya were screwin' a penguin!"