29 June 2006

Bye Bye Dentists

Or at least, the painful part of dentistry. Some Canadian researchers have developed a tool to stimulate bone growth, allowing teeth to be regrown. There are some other possible uses, including allowing people to grow taller, but the teeth thing is WAY COOL.

28 June 2006

Now I know...

So last week was interesting on a number of scales, but the one I want to discuss is the 'Unlucky Friends List'.

Otherwise known as .. why do all the lightbulbs burn out at the same time?

It can be argued that the reason lightbulbs all burn out at once is that they were all put in at once. This is fallacious reasoning. I back my dismissal with one word. Lamps. *

Along the same lines, last week several of my long time friends had family issues. H's brother needed some assistance in packing up.. he was in a bad fall about a year ago and his memory is not what it ought to be. Unfortunately, I wasn't aware that a) he needed help or b) that he was even back in the area until 2 days before he flew out. Still, a friend in need etc.

L is a bit more complicated. Her waste of oxygen husband, who I will hereafter refer to as Trash, has mental issues. Of the sort that usually require, at the very least, Prozac. Or maybe frontal lobotomies. He has threatened to commit suicide several times in the past. And last Thursday he did it again. This time L called his bluff. And the police.

2.5 hours later, the armed standoff was finished and Trash was in the Psych ward for evaluation.
He got court ordered there for 3 days.

So, based on the mental issues statement, this is not a big surprise. The big surprise is, she is letting him back in.

I love L very much. I attempted to talk her out of it, to get her to change the locks and file a restraining order. But I think one can only push so hard before your friend starts looking at you as an enemy. I really didn't want to cross that line. The only positive sides to this incident are a) no more guns in the house and b) L talked to her therapist. They discussed the fact that L's insecurities are what makes her need Trash, and L agreed that was the case. So at least she is now aware of why she is with him.

And with that, I leave you with the line GI Joe made famous.

..and knowing things is half the battle.

* When you move, you take the lamps with you.. and those bulbs were not installed at the same time as the ones in the new house!

26 June 2006

Peach Milkshakes

Thanks go out to the incomparable CP for a lovely weekend of nothingness. I haven't just 'hung out' with a girlfriend for a long time. Very enjoyable, even if the weather and the foot limited us in activity.

Although the foot limits less than it used to. I am now gimping about without a crutch at all! At least, on flat surfaces. Walking about town still brings a single prop with it, just in case of muck, marbles, or tangled mats. Housework is now back within the realm of possibility (note: not probability) and my clothes are all clean for the first time in over a month. The Scary Study is about half exorcised, so my sense of house-propriety is being satisfied.

Next on the agenda: Cooking green things. I need more green things!

22 June 2006

I Have a Hand

Ah Joy. I am booted. And I have a temporary guestroom in the apartment. Life is good.

Yes, the 5 hour excavation of the Den of the Dark Dragon is complete, and the room is ready to be used by anyone who needs one. At least until Monday morning, when the Dragon returns. Thankfully, medicated.

And I have the use of a hand while moving about. And had a lovely bath and scrub. Although the tub needs some work now....

It is always something.

21 June 2006


A brief note to start: A glorious thank you to the FedEx driver on Jefferson Avenue yesterday. Takes true talent to have a minivan smash into your back end at a stoplight, scattering glass everywhere!

The day of freedom arrives. I have a silly smirk on my face. The cast comes off, 1330 EST.

At least, that is The Plan. The Plan is a complicated piece of mental engineering, involving the hospital, the world-famous 5 Minute Doctor, a cast saw, a walking boot, the X-Ray machine, tagging and releasing.

The Plan will not be sidetracked by Mr Pessimist's negative vibes. I will be free! The contingency plan is simple by comparison.

5 MD will satisfy the following requirements:
1) informing me how the foot is healing
2) detailing how long I will need the boot and how often/when to wear it
3) what can I do with the foot now?
4) when will I be able to resume workouts?
5) any other warnings/cautions

If he should be unable/unwilling to give me answers to these basic questions, it will come down to one simple question:

Do you have a crutch?*

So my apologies to everyone who had to deal with me yesterday, I know my very limited patience was nonexistant, but today it is all over... rejoice!

* Apologies to Eddie Izzard

19 June 2006

Weekend a la Sister

Let me say one thing before I get started. I love my sister. Really.

Now to the dark side: I love my sister when she isn't off her meds.

K without Adderoll is ebullient. She is chatty. She is bouncy.

She is flighty. She is annoying. She is wriggly. She is easily distracted. She cannot complete one sentence without going off in five different directions.

This can be very entertaining, when one does not have to live with her. When one is forced to, and forced to sit and take it due to a cast, it might result in fratricide. Nearly did, several times this weekend. It was either.. she is asleep yay! or she's awake.. hide! And yet the spasms of activity she went through involved absolutely nothing that might have been viewed as productive.

I can't wait until Wednesday.

15 June 2006

Just for CP... and the Robotic Overlords

This week in the life of M...

My sister (a desperate devotee of Sean Bean) has prevailed upon me to add BBC America to our TV lineup. Now, Sean is a hot man to be sure, but truly, it was done in hope of newer Dr Who episodes than the SciFi channel shows (and what is up with ECW on SciFi anyways?!?). Dr Who, despite the loss of Christopher Eccleston, is a cool show.

Then last Thursday I discovered Hex. For anyone without knowledge of this nifty program, Hex is a show about a teenage girl who finds a voodoo pot and gets witch powers. Along with a really scary fallen angel to suck the life out of her and her friend. I say 'friend', because last week was just the premiere. So, so far, 1 death per show! Very cool, and much darker than most channels would go for here in the USA. And how much fun is it to listen to British phrasing?!?

Now to the dark side. FedEx.

They have lost my Roomba. The Roomba that had the perfect timing to dazzle me on Woot 3 weeks ago. The Roomba which was to have taken over the daily fuzz-busting demanded by the damn floor as a result of the 2 medium haired felines that rule the roost. The Roomba that would have saved my sanity while I am stuck in this cast.

Somehow, despite the fact their truck delivers to my area daily, they had an 'incorrect address'.

And then, the box disappears from their warehouse.

5 days and 4 calls later, the national representative tells me to file a claim.

I have already passed through several of the stages of grief... anger, denial, bargaining... and am still stuck in depression.

Damn them! Damn them and their desire for the robotic overlords!!

07 June 2006

Leprechauns in Ireland

A group of leprechauns were in Ireland (surprise surprise) and had gotten into an intense debate among themselves. After much arguing, one of them waved his fist in the air, and declared "I'll prove it to ye!"

So off the group went, until they came up to a nunnery.

The small group followed the leader up to the door, where he knocked and asked the gatekeeper if he could speak with the Mother Superior.

They were let in, and escorted to the room outside her office to wait for her. When she opened the door, she motioned the group in. "What brings you to St. Agatha's?", she asked politely.

"Well, muther, I had a few wee questions for ya", the leader replied, his hat in his hand.

"Go on." she responded.

"Well, I was wonderin'... do ye have any miniature nuns in this convent?" he asked, fingers twiddling on the brim of the hat.

"No, we don't have any 'miniature' nuns in this convent", she replied, a bit puzzled.

"What about in the county?" he asked, a bit more urgency in his voice.

"No, no I don't recall any in the county."

"Well, what about in Ireland? Surely there is a midget nun in Ireland?!" he urged her.

"Indeed, I am certain there is not, not in all of Ireland."

In desperation, the leprechaun blurted out, "What about the whole world, Mother? The whole entire world?"

"I don't believe we have any midget nuns in all the world, no." she stated, watching him become more and more agitated.

The leprechaun seemed to slump, and thanked the woman, before leading his pack back out into the road.

A few steps further down one of his companions slapped him on the back and declared in a carrying voice, "See? I told ya, ya were screwin' a penguin!"

Banana Rustling??

Yeah I know. 2 weeks. Thank goodness for Darvocet. But now that the brain is functioning again, and the ankle is just slightly achy, the blog must continue!

Today's item of interest: Banana Rustlers (as you probably were aware from the title)
(for those who want the hot scoop direct from the horse's patootie).

Apparently, thanks to a cyclone, Australia's banana crop is high demand/low supply. However, what worm in the brainpan could come up with banana rustling?? It isn't even evil sounding. It is more like something Bozo the Clown would have come up with. I mean, how does one herd bananas into a blind canyon? Or cover the brands? Wouldn't that damage the fruit?

Alas, there is no glamour in crime today. Let's get our posse together, pardner, and go after them with hot steel.

On another note, this is just frikken hysterical.